I just googled the Kubler-Ross model of grief. I don’t think I’m following the brief, either that or she missed a few stages.

So far I’m almost through the paperwork stage, that’s the time were you are buried under mounds of irrelevant and illogical forms required by faceless bureaucrats who have no hearts just “policies and procedures”.

Now it appears I’m moving on to the losing-your-mind phase where quite frankly you will give anything a shot.

Wandering past the town’s new age shop last week I tripped over a blackboard, it said “psychic in store today”* I took it as a sign, which I guess it was literally.

At first the reading was about me, apparently I have great powers of manifestation. So far I’ve managed to “manifest” myself as an unemployed widow with two teenagers and an unfinished house reliant on the goodwill of the above mentioned bureaucrats to release the needed funds. Go me. I’m on fire. My newly acquired psychic suggested I needed to embrace the manifesting power. So now I’m regularly repeating “you have great wealth, you have great wealth”. Yesterday someone left two bucks in the trolley at Coles for me. I’ll make the richest list yet.

The psychic did note there would be renovations on my house, she could be right we’ve lived in it so long now any further work would class as a renovation rather than finishing the new build.

I will end up working from home, so now I’ve got to create my own business, as if I didn’t have enough to deal with at the moment!

I explained my circumstances and apparently we began a conversation with Simon.

It seems he wanted me to call his mother, he was pleased I was decluttering and I had to remember it was just stuff and chuck it away. Great, he’s sending me a to-do list from the after life! Although the let-it-go statement could have been a reference to my crying over his clothes a couple of weeks ago.

He did relay that he was proud of us and the way we have handled our current circumstances.

However, in a sure sign my mind is really puttified*, when my psychic asked if I had any questions for Simon I asked if he knew where I would find the marriage certificate. Given he could never find anything when he was alive I don’t know what made me think he would be any help when he was dead. His response, he laughed at me.

In conclusion the psychic says he is at peace and happy, which is great for him. I, on the other hand, am having a nervous breakdown over a bloody certificate.

*I have no idea if anyone can talk to dead people or see the future. I’m up-in-the-air about the whole “god” thing and if he/she exists I don’t think we are on speaking terms at the moment. But at this point I’m clearly at the “give anything a go” stage of grieving.

**I know that’s not a word, but I’m allowed to make crap up when I’m in this mood.