The Hippie Child goes into Year 10 next year. After that there’s two years of intensity for the HSC and then she has to head out into the big, wide world.
The question of “what do you want to be when you grow up?” is starting to be asked with a serious tone.
We’ve gone through what she likes about her school subjects, we’ve (ok I’ve) started looking at possible uni courses.
I’ve had the conversation that no matter what she chooses to do after school, it will only be one of many careers she will undertake in her lifetime. The days of securing a “job for life” or sticking with the one career from uni to grave are gone. Flexibility, mobility, transferable skills are all a feature of the modern workplace.
In one discussion she was heard to say “but there’s no money in that”. She was right, the career she was thinking of was insecure, stressful and erratic. I heard myself agreeing with her then I had to stop. “But if it is what you really want to do, then go for it.”
Given this blog was born out of a desire to recapture a long-forgotten writing dream it’s a little hypocritical to then try to lead my daughter AWAY from her passion.
In one blogging course I did we were asked to talk about what we had loved doing as a child. It was amazing to discover how many people had known their passion early in life, be it writing, art, music, fashion, craft, but been led away from it, into a more “sensible” direction. One that could pay the bills, buy a house, give the kids a good education.
I wonder what the world would look like if everyone got to pursue their dreams from the get go? How many amazing things would be created, discovered, experienced, seen, taught? Wouldn’t the world be a happier place?
While wrestling with this topic I read Lisa Lintern’s piece Could’ve been. Should’ve been. Wasn’t. The post discusses how she wanted to be an actor, which her parents supported, BUT they encouraged her to have a “back-up” plan. Eventually the “back-up” plan became THE plan, and the acting dream died away.
What if we didn’t ask our kids to have a “back-up” plan? What if we said aim for what you really, really want? Worry about a back-up when all other attempts have failed. Without the security of a “back-up” plan would they work harder, take more risks, make the dream a reality, because hell, there’s nothing to fall back on?
In a serendipitous internet moment, while I was debating these issues I wandered into Inspiration Cooperative where Theresa pointed me to Tori at One.Eleven Studio who had linked to this amazing video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYp-0sWz-vY
The video tells me exactly what I need to tell my daughters. Find what you love and just do it. The money, the grown-up stuff, you’ll figure it out as you go along, you will find a way to make it work because it is your passion.
What would you do if money was no object? I would blog all day.
Having just last night been to my 20yr high school reunion, I wonder if we set our children up for failure by encouraging them to follow their dreams. After all, someone has to stack the shelves at the supermarket. But I do understand where you’re coming from with encouraging your girl to follow her passion. It’s a hard path to tread, figuring out how to encourage our children when we’re still trying to figure it out ourselves.
Reunions are scary!!! I think I’ve decided that I encourage the dreams and if, after giving it a red hot go, she ends up at the supermarket then at least she won’t be wondering “what if”? But as my work colleague keeps saying to me “this is not your life, you have no control, she will do what she wants to do”.
Sometimes I wonder just how unattainable those ‘amazing, yet risky jobs’ like acting, painting etc really are. How many people ‘opt out’ to focus on that back-up plan, like I did? I dare say there are many of us. When we speak to people successful in these kinds of professions they often tell you they think they succeeded because they knew it was the only thing they wanted to do. Like they were born to walk that path. Granted, some of these people have also succeeded because they have a support system many of us don’t have – wealthy parents, high-income earning partners. But after watching that video, I think I know what I’ll be telling my kids. Great post and so glad my piece played a role in igniting your thoughts. x
The failure rate is high in those industries, but like you say, how many opt out for an easier alternative, the back-up plan? I think though the mindset is different if you really give it your all to one particular passion, without the interference of the fall-back. Wealthy parents, or high-income earning partners would be a huge assistance, but perhaps without that people live a simpler life because there is no higher-earning option available? I’ll be interested to see how my daughters’ futures pan out. Hopefully, I can stop myself interfering and let them have a shot at the dreams. Thanks for your great post!
I’m in the follow-your-passion camp. Life is too short. I started out wanting to be a pharmacist so I could make concoctions, til I discovered its not really like that anymore (and I failed chemistry). I chose sciences as my electives in high school to please my parents then had a revelation that what I really wanted to do was write, so I decided bugger pleasing them and pleased myself. And it’s worked out pretty well. I’m with you I think I’d blog all day or write movie scripts if money was no object.
I would so love to see the movie script you come up with!
I’d do what I’m doing right now! How many people can say that?
That’s fantastic Diana.
What a beautiful post, Janine. Our son is a few years younger than than Hippie Child but we think about these things all the time. We just had that conversation that this is no longer a one-career world! My husband is lucky enough (after some long-fought educational years) to do a job he loves, and I’m just now listening to the universe to do work that I love too. But, and it’s a big BUT. I’m lucky enough to have the financial security to do that. (Although Neel is making jokes about raking in the dough… ahem).
I doubt you’ve seen this series which aired on our local public radio for years called Work is a Blessing. You and Hippie Child might like it. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=101267379
We had the transcript from the one by Tony Hawk printed out and taped on our kitchen bulletin board for years. Might need to do it again. And I need to watch Tori’s video again. 🙂
Hey! Here’s the Tony Hawk link…even better. Do What You Love: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5568583
It’s that financial security which gives you freedom doesn’t it? That’s why I’m thinking have a crack at doing what you love (but doesn’t bring in big bucks) while you are young, single, childless. It’s much harder once other people are relying on you to bring in enough money to you know, feed them etc. I will check out the Tony Hawk links.
janine – important topic, and lovely video! lauren – thanks for the links, i’ll check them out, too. our family has a “mission statement” and it includes living to your potential and finding joy and laughter in your days. so that means, even if you have a “temporary job” or do some work which you do not enjoy, you find a way to make it wonderful.
that said, i found my calling in montessori teaching. it’s hard work, and so fulfilling.
thanks for keeping us thinking about these topics!
I love your philosophy on life Noreen, and the way you pass it onto your children.
Timely to read this this evening. Coming home from work today I was thinking that exact thing – ‘what WOULD the world look like if everyone followed their bliss?’. I’ve recently decided to resign from a well paid and flexible working arrangement to focus on my passion for visual arts. Although daunted and a bit nervous about how I’ll manage financially, I am trying to have faith that by living more authentically that good things will come. Thanks for the inspiration!
Wow. Brave move. Wishing you lots of great things to come from your leap into the unknown.
I’d own a greeting card/hostess shop 🙂