Over at Life in A Pink Fibro Alison Tait wrote a post, 10 Things I Learnt Last Week, then Alana at House Goes Home picked up the concept and ran with it to create 8 Things I didn’t Learn Last Week. Now in a shameless rip-off due to limited time and little creativity I’m going with 5 Things I Should Have Learnt By Now.

1. When you start bragging about how your family hasn’t had the flu this winter you are just inviting trouble. Pass the panadol please.

2. No matter how much you wiggle your nose or blink your eyes it is physically impossible for one person to be in two places at the same time. So why do I keep promising to achieve what the laws of science say is beyond the achievable? Because I am a mother with two children. Both of whom are required to be at different places at different times, while I’m also required to be at that place called work which pays the mortgage for a great part of the week. Give up on the goal, prepare to miss certain events, carefully explain just because you missed that miracle goal kicked from halfway doesn’t mean you are bad, uncaring mother.

3. There is no end to the washing, trying to kid yourself that one day you will get to the bottom of the basket and have every item of clothing in the house washed, folded and put away is up there with that dream of winning the lottery. It can’t be done, let it go.

4. Getting home from work is not the end of day, do not sit down, I repeat do not sit down, noooo don’t go getting comfy in front of the heater. Instead do dinner, clean up the kitchen, put on a load of washing, hang out washing, sign notes for school tomorrow, check homework, sort out lunches for tomorrow, where’s Princess Child? Oh God has anybody picked her up from dance? What time is it? Pick up child from dance. Nag children to sort out their school bags for tomorrow. Write a blog post and schedule it for tomorrow. Now see if you just did that every night mornings would be so much better.

5. A working mother’s dreams can only be worked on between 9.00pm and midnight and 5.00am to 7.00am. By the time you sort out everyone’s needs, make enough money to pay a few bills, complete the basic housework tasks and feed the family that’s the time you’ve got left for “me” time. You go girl. Dream big. You can make it happen, as long as you don’t need sleep to function, the world is your oyster.