I called a family meeting. The only item on the agenda was ME. You can imagine how well it went.
The first difficulty was getting all four of us in the same place at the same time. Finally on Sunday night there was a 15 minute window of opportunity before I lost them all to Merlin.
So I have my captive audience, and honestly DOCS the children were only tied up for a short period of time it’s not a regular thing.
“I’ve called this meeting to talk about ME”.
“You? What’s wrong with you?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just going to be very busy for the next month and I want to tell you why”.
And so I talked, about the life-long dreams I had set aside to care for them and how now they were older it was time to turn my attention back to those dreams.
The interruptions were numerous, and I still don’t know how we got to “we learnt about sex today at school”. Yes I know, I’d got the note explaining it was the annual video/diagram presentation where teachers got the joy of explaining how babies were made. However, this was not the topic of our family meeting.
But all agreed the blog thing was great “Good on you mum, it’s looking good, we like the blog”. The novel thing a little harder to grasp, but they don’t have to understand they just have to LET ME WORK.
“Now look because I’m going to be busy, everyone is going to have to help out more, we have to try to keep the house tidy, do the dishwasher, even wash a load of clothes occasionally.”
“What about my homework?”, “dance concert?”, “band performances?”.
We just have to be more organised I stressed. It is possible to do it all. (Even I was finding it hard to believe the words coming out of my mouth).
“Yeah OK Mum can we watch Merlin now?”
I’m not sure my message got through, but I’m clinging to the dream. 2000 words and a blog post every day for a month. Yes I can. Yes I can.
I don’t know why (lack of sleep perhaps?) but this post made me tear up a little. I think it was the line “It is possible to do it all”. Don’t get me wrong- your post also made me laugh – cause you’re funny – but whew…. I am NOT succeeding at doing it all, at all.
I’m going to try again today, though.
I’ve never believed you could do it all, but now my kids are older I am desperately trying to regain some space for “me” and the things I love, but it’s such a struggle. You are doing a great job, you have a wonderful blog and you have been a huge supporter of others on the BYW forums. Some days you have just got to take a breath, and put one foot in front of the other. Go Heidi!
I agree wholeheartedly (sp?!)- Those “little” people who have benefited from all the sacrifices you have made over the years-are old enough (even the Big Kid), to understand that there needs to be time for YOU. (Going back to work/doing courses-esp.when my kids were little, was, as you know, always a struggle-but the BEST thing I ever did!) Actually having “the talk about ME” is a great idea-(switching off the TV is necessary to communicate in our house-so you did WELL !) I don’t know that any of us actually get to “do it all”- but just factoring YOURSELF into the equation, thinking of your needs too (other people may need a jolt to consider this-if it is a new concept..) is a BIG STEP forward. People will take a little time to adjust to the idea of ”your time-work-time” (moving your work-‘stuff’ into another room helps!) but they may never have actually considered that you LIKE being ALONE-to do your stuff-sometimes! Hanging in there is half the battle-it will get easier!
Hi – found you through BYW! I applaud you – I am a stepmom of 2 years to 2 teenage girls who live with their mom. This month they are living with us – and my life has been pushed to the bottom of the priority list! I am learning to say NO (hard for me) but still finding it hard to fit in all my exciting BYW ideas and my own work. Good luck with your 2000 words! Cathy
Thank you Cathy – I reckon step-mum has got to be the toughest role around – good luck with the rest of the month (and the blogging).