So it turns out this grief thing doesn’t have an end date. The calendar says it’s been two years but our hearts still feel like it was yesterday.
You’ve got no idea the number of people who drown, this summer has been a particularly bad one. I want to pass a law that nobody goes onto a beach without a life jacket.
It seems there’s a lot of bad things happening, a young boy straight out of school killed in a road accident, friends fighting cancer or other deadly illness, the girls were right when they said to me at the very beginning of this grief journey that everybody had problems, ours weren’t that special.
This year as the anniversary approached I re-read Don’t Get On The Anniversary Train we decided to pretend it was just an ordinary day. We went about our business as usual, work and school. But it still sucked.
Hippie Child was home from university so she visited the grave and left some flowers.
There still isn’t a week that goes by without one of us shedding a quiet tear or two.
I’ve lost track of where we are up to on Kubler-Ross’ grief scale it seems now we just wear an ever-present invisible cloak of sadness as we live our lives. Some who have done this journey before us say it will get easier with time.
Things I’ve learnt in the last two years.
Time heals all wounds – it’s a croc – don’t believe it.
People are good and kind – true – I will be forever grateful for the acts of kindness we have experienced since Simon died.
We are stronger than we know – somehow we keep on going no matter what – you find your reason to continue and you just do – in my case it was two kids who needed me.
Death sucks.
Rachel says
xxxx.
Maggie says
Think and feel for you all of you often. Hugs to you Janine doing an amazing job with your reason to continue. oxoxox
Janine says
Thanks Maggie
Bronny says
I agree. Death sucks and the good ones go early. They obviously needed a red wine expert at the dinner table. Love and hugs as always…
Janine says
Thanks Bronny.
Debyl1 says
I just want to let you know that your words always give me strength and I want to send you a big hug to give you some back. I lost my beautiful mum not long ago and when the sadness takes over and I read your posts I know I will get through this.
Thank you Janine. You make a difference. xx
Janine says
Thank you so much that’s a lovely comment.
Kate says
I agree. I want to say It doesn’t get easier to understand but perhaps the ability to ‘deal with it’ does a little. I remember having some beautiful conversations with Hippie Child about life, passions and Dads. I still remember the last conversation with Simon xolove to all. (Ps. Had to explain the importance of my gold handled blue mug to someone who was caught using nit today at school … Grrr)