You learn a lot about yourself when you suddenly find yourself partner-less after 24 years in a relationship.
It turns out I’m really quite useless when it comes to anything practical.
It’s not that this is a huge surprise to anyone because, well I’ve always been that way, but when you had an in-house Mr Fix-it (or stuff-it-upper depending on the complexity of the task) you simply turned to the bloke beside you and say “you need to do this …”
Now I have a garage full of tools – oh the tools I’ve got – and absolutely no idea how to use them.
Thirty years ago my friend Petrina moved in with me and found me living in the dark, I didn’t know how to change lightbulbs, I simply sat there and “manifested” and lo and behold the universe sent me a highly practical individual who simply took over all the maintenance requirements. When Petrina moved out Simon moved in and everything remained hunkory dory.
Now I’m here trying to find ladders to change bulbs (yeah high ceilings great design choice Janine), sorting out aquarium fixtures and learning to light a fire via Facebook.
I am fully aware these are simple tasks most people accomplish with ease, I am not most people.
Petrina and Simon had many a conversation about how someone so bright could be so lacking in any commonsense whatsoever, look it gave them something to talk about, it was a bonding thing for them. You want your friends to be mates with your boyfriend don’t you?
If you need a 5,000 word essay on the inspiration of Dante in T.S Elliot’s Wasteland I’m your girl, if you need to unplug a blocked drain, fix a leaking tap or quieten a squeaky door I’ll give it a go but we could end up with a broken drain, a water spout in the bathroom and a well oiled floor.
I’m now screening the girl’s potential boyfriends on the basis of trade skills.
Clearly I’m a disgrace to feminism having been totally reliant on a man for all repairs for 24 years. Perhaps with the advent of all this technology I can teach myself via you-tube the most common household repairs. It can’t be that hard right? Which way do you hold a nail gun again?
Since my husband/partner of 20+ years left a year ago the two things I feel most accomplished about are: a) putting on the king sized quilt cover by myself and b) changing light bulbs by myself. I’m totally non-practical with household repairs and such like but with the help of Google and cries for help on Facebook I’ve been able to get most things sorted fairly quickly.
you are not alone, janine. i don’t really handle the remotes in this house. there are too many, and everyone else knows how to use them better than i do. however, many times, even they cannot figure out how to get subtitles. so there it is, we’re all on the continuum somewhere. you need to look up a handyman and keep him on speed dial.
We’ve always been worried about what we’ll do when princess child moves out – she’s the only one who can do the technical remotes/computer stuff.