Image from © Lime Lane Photography
I had a post ready to go today but Hippie Child vetoed it, apparently too much “black humour”.
In light of my new circumstances I am wondering about how much you can reveal of yourself online before it becomes damaging in your real life.
I attended a training session for a casual job with a media organisation recently, some comments I made about social media were misconstrued as being “fearful” of the online world. In a fit of pique I went home and “followed” all the attendees (including the managers) on Twitter. “Look guys, I’m on Twitter, I’ve got a blog, I’m NOT AFRAID OF SOCIAL MEDIA”.
When I calmed down I realised that for the most part I have kept my work separate from my blog. My previous boss and colleagues read the blog but I never wrote about issues relevant to our organisation or the work we did. I already had the job and knew my boss well. The stories I told on the blog, where for the most part, the stories I would tell to get a laugh in the workplace as well. Although I did write about the chaos of my life, which probably wasn’t the best to present professionally.
Now, I’ve got prospective managers following me as I write about a journey through grief, at the same time as I’m trying to present as together enough to be employed.
I admire the people who can write powerfully and in a raw way about their experiences, but I think my old fashioned “be objective, you are not the story” journalism training prevents me from fully embracing that approach.
Even the little I’ve revealed so far worries me. A quick google of my name will reveal to a prospective employer that I’ve just lost my husband, their own preconceptions about grief and coping could then take over their judgement of whether I could do the job.
Nowadays even just what you “like” or “share” on Facebook or Twitter builds up a profile of your beliefs, politics, ideologies. Sometimes I find out more about what my friends think through their Facebook updates than through face-to-face conversations.
Do you think we are all revealing too much of ourselves online?
It is a fine line when one realizes just how small social media makes the world. It is a shame that we find ourselves having to question what we write about or express an opinion over because of who might read and somehow use it against us, especially in a job situation. Self censuring is a tough ability when trying to be honest about life. I guess it boils down to whether the subject at hand is worth more being exposed than the possibility of someone using it against us. BTW – dark humour is the way my family gets through – we still laugh about all the mechanical failings surrounding my grandmother’s burial (we attribute it to her not wanting to go.)
I nearly got the giggles when they positioned Simon incorrectly over the grave and had to quickly wiggle him back into place – he went out rocking and rolling!
I always say write what you feel,, and it is so wrong if people make assumptions on others purely on what they read. Mostly it is always reading their own opinions… I personally do not tell people of my main blog or FB or Twitter… Good points made… 😉
Yep think I’ll go with write what you feel idea for a while.
I think when writing a blog or anything in social media you have to be comfortable with anyone reading it. When I interview people for roles I like to see past the qualifications and experience (although this is obviously key!) and look to ‘who is this person?’ ‘what motivates them? ‘Will they culturally fit?’ ‘Do they have a sense of humour’ (sense of humour is essential for handling stress in my opnion!). So I think a blog/twitter can ’round out’ that formal ‘best face’ you have at an interview. Of course if you’re a neo-nazi who likes to go dwarf-throwing in your weekends or fancies themselves as an authority on nude beaches and does reviews.. well maybe, just maybe you might want to write under a pseudonym. I think you’re OK 😉
Feeling relieved I didn’t go down the neo-nazi dwarf-throwing route!
Both of my parents would tell you 100% that I reveal too much online. My dad called me up the day I released my post on Panic Attacks and told me to take it down immediate (I didn’t). And I know my mom has made comments before. Two weeks ago I made the plunge and posted about my boudoir shoot – it got a *lot* of hits. I’m sure my mother had something to say about that, but just didn’t. I ended up deciding to leave all of things up because I realize that the posts that I connect the most with are ones where people are revealing things and being really truly honest and talking about things that people don’t often say. That being said – nobody really knows anything about my living situation, my releationship status, who I hang out with on the weekends, or any controversial opinions that I have. So I guess I have drawn the line in my own way. I can’t even begin to imagine how much more complicated it gets when you have kids.
Kids do add a complication to the mix, particularly given my kids were older when I started blogging so I have always had to be mindful of what I say in the blog, because I don’t want virtual life to impact badly on real life. I do think everyone has to find there own “line” or their own way of being personable and authentic without necessarily revealing the private.