“Ilona’s New Hat” Photo by Ari Seth Cohen of Advanced Style.*

Given that this blog is my midlife crisis I’m obviously hoping to make it to 90 odd mark. Shambolic Living was born as I hit my 44th birthday and realised I’d neglected a few of my life goals in amongst all the baby, bills and mortgage stuff. So as I madly try to tick off the “to do” list I’m gonna need a bit of time to make up for the lost years of distraction.

This month’s National Geographic explores longevity in the cover story This Baby Will To Be 120. While scientists explore the long-living groups of people who by some combination of “genetics, commonsense or luck” seem to be healthier than the rest of the population it occurred to me there are both positives and negatives to making it to a century or more.

If you are going to be around for a while you want to hope your body holds up. Given the arrival of new aches, pains and ailments on a daily basis I’m already concerned the body might pack it in long before I’m ready.

You want to hang on to your independence as long as possible. Considering the amount of nagging and arguing I’ve inflicted on my children I’m a little concerned about relying on their good nature for my support in old age. Of course, that’s if they are around. There’s a good chance they will be off living some exciting life in another city or (god forbid) country. I can just see me packing my worldly belongings into a suitcase-on-wheels and trudging off to foreign parts to announce to the offspring “hi, I’m here for you to take care of me”. OK that’s not going to happen, we all know my hoarder tendencies are not going to allow my belongings to fit into one suitcase.

Of course there’s always the chance the mind might go. Already I struggle to match faces to names and my keys have been misplaced for a few weeks now. Is that the first sign? Do you really want to be 103 if you have no concept of who you are?

However, despite the physical challenges the big issue is the money. Having an extended break from the workforce means on retirement I should have enough superannuation to survive for, ohh about a year! According to Celebrity Apprentice last week you need at least one million dollars in the bank when you clear out your office cubicle for the last time. I’m guessing that’s based on lasting an average lifespan. If you are going to make it to 100 plus what the hell are you going to live on? (Let’s just ignore the fact that a person who gets their financial advice from Celebrity Apprentice probably doesn’t have the greatest handle on money matters to start with).

Having moved early to the retirement capital of New South Wales I have a plan. As I try to make my way around the supermarket on pension day, dodging walkers, scooters, and individuals who assume age gives you right of way EVERYWHERE, I comfort myself with the thought that one day all my friends from various parts of the country (and world) will  decide to mark out their last days in the perfect clime of Port Macquarie. We will rock the old people’s home!

How are you planning to grow old? Will it be a graceful decline or do you plan to behave outrageously at every opportunity? Are you aiming on getting the letter from the Queen/Prince Charles/Prince William/New Royal Arrival Due Soon?

*The photo above is from a wonderful blog called Advanced Style . Photographer Ari Seth Cohen captures images of “stylish  and creative older folks” on the streets of New York. The photos are delightful and when I grow up I want to be like these gals who ooze confidence, humour and true beauty.