I’ve started my personal self-development challenge. The one where I attempt to improve my life within the bounds of my responsibilities and limited (ok non-existent) budget.
I’ve heard people say meditation is a life-changing activity. To be fair those people are mostly highly paid actors with nannies on hand to distract the children and calming, white mediation rooms in-built in their Hollywood mansions.
There have always been a few problems with my meditating. Firstly it requires quiet and time alone. This house doesn’t do quiet and I haven’t been alone since 1997.
Nevertheless I decide that I need to still my frenetic mind. The mind that races with 100 ideas a minute. The mind that multi-tasks every minute of every day, keeping a tally on who is where and what needs to be done next.
I discover a meditation course you can try free for 21 days. I sign up.
I begin to get daily emails with the latest meditations. I fail to find the time to even open them. They build up in my inbox. I get stressed that I am falling behind in my meditation!
Finally I secure a few minutes to give one a shot.
Resting comfortably on my bed I open the first meditation – oh God it goes for 15 minutes – I don’t have 15 minutes I’ve got to go and cook dinner. Calm. Breath. Dinner can wait.
I press play. Calming music. Then an Indian voice issuing instructions. I get the giggles. I don’t know why I get the giggles. This has happened on other ill-fated meditation attempts too. I refocus. Listen carefully.
The phone rings.
I’m not answering the phone. The phone is not important. Focus on meditating.
“Muuuuuuum. Some bloke on the phone says he can save you money on the phone bill.”
“Tell him we are happy with our current phone provider”
“What?”
“TELL HIM WE DON’T WANT TO CHANGE OUR PHONE”. I don’t think yelling is supposed to be a part of meditating.
Refocus. Abundance. Think of wildlife. I’m back with my meditating friend.
Suddenly I am not alone.
“Why are you in bed? Are you sick?”
“No, I’m meditating”.
“Why?”.
“To destress”.
“Why are you stressed?”.
“I don’t have time to explain, I’ve got to listen to this guy, I can’t hear him while you are talking.”
“What’s he on about?”
“Abundance”.
“What’s abundance?”
“I can’t explain now, just let me finish, I’ll explain later”.
“Is this another blogging thing?”
“NO, YES, CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES TO MYSELF”. Again, yelling is bad for meditating.
“Geez, OK, no need to get cranky”.
By now my meditating mate has allowed soft music to play uninterrupted, I think we are supposed to be focusing on the abundance in our life, but I missed his last few points so I can’t be sure.
Clear your mind, Janine, be calm.
Ummmm. What time is it? I should have started to defrost the chicken pieces before I began, they would nearly be done by now. Did I sign that note for the excursion? Oh God what if that excursion was today? Did my kid miss out because I forgot to give permission for her to walk into town with the rest of the class? What date is it? I have to get the newsletter out at work. Do I have enough content?
Abundance. Right. My life is abundant. I’ve got plenty. I have a roof over my head. The walls may be unpainted. The floor uncovered and the windows without architraves, but hell it doesn’t blow down in a storm. We are good. How are we going to get the house finished? I really have to come up with a new plan.
Janine, this not meditating. STOP YOUR BRAIN NOW. Well that’s three times yelling (even if this one was silently in your head).
The bell rings. The meditation is over.
That went well.
If you would like to give meditating a try for yourself there’s still a week or so left of this challenge. While Radio National Life Matters is into week three of a six-week challenge to meditate every day.
Oh Janine! That was funny. I signed up for that same challenge and had exactly the same result. I did, however, spend a glorious day at a retreat on the Gold Coast hinterland, meditating, doing a bit of yoga, aromatherapy face massage vegetarian banquet etc etc. It was absolutely glorious. I kept it up for a couple days after but that was the end of that. I highly recommended seeking out a meditation workshop or similar in your area. It is very relaxing.
Anne xx
So glad I’m not alone! My dream is a week at one of those health spa places where I can eat right and meditate every day.
Gee you’re funny! I find meditating extremely difficult, and I never attempt it for longer than 2 minutes. But when I have gotten into a daily practice (doesn’t that sound yogic and enlightened!) the benefits have been amazing.
Two minutes, now that sound more feasible.
Gee you’re funny. We don’t need to meditate, we just read your blog to destress!
Happy to provide the stressbuster to your life.
hello janine – that was so funny – and true. i’d definitely stop the emails, so you won’t feel the added pressure. meditating is supposed to be relaxing and peaceful. just remember to defrost dinner first. peace to you, n
Yes I don’t need the constant reminders!
I can’t meditate – not even worth trying but a bath with a book or going to a movie have the same end result – my brain shuts down it’s endless chatter and I’m removed from my life. Sneak off to a movie by yourself. Best meditation ever.
I couldn’t stop laughing reading this! I was picturing everything, as the same things have happened to me.
I decided a while ago to start meditating, and every afternoon tried to go off by myself, but of course it just doesn’t happen. So then I started waiting until my hubby got home of an evening, but then every single time I tried, I just fell asleep!
I’ve decided to wait until next year, when both my kids will be in school, and try again then.
Great post, loved it! 🙂
xx
Oh yes falling asleep is the great risk! When I had little ones sleep would have beaten meditating every time.
Hahaha, well, I’m not a meditator but my hubby was getting up at 5am for ages to meditate for 30 mins. He was so disciplined. Then his working overseas malarkey caused upheaval. BUT he was calmer for sure. You know all those racing thoughts are just part of it, just to be observed and let go… Oh yes, I know the theory all right. Have to say I practise mindfulness and find it absolutely essential. Be here now. When? Now!!
I’ve tried it and failed. When my mind is meant to be clear, its actually thinking “is my mind clear? Why is it not clear? How do I clear my mind?”
Frankly, I found it exhausting.
But, if you CAN do it, then I am sure it would be brilliant!
Annie,
(via FYBF)
Yes if I only I didn’t talk to myself so much, I’m endlessly chatting in my head!
I have never tried meditating by myself but I’ve always found the meditation part at yoga to be hardest, because I either can’t turn my brain off or I fall asleep!
Yes, that’s the only time I’ve tried meditating, during the probably four times I’ve tried yoga over the years.
This is funny. I’ve tried a little meditating a couple of times but my kids don’t get the whole ‘give mummy a break for a minute’, so I end up more stressed.
Too funny! I get lots of time alone now that my kids are grown up, but I think if I tried to meditate I would just fall asleep!
That sounds a lot like meditation would go for me. Maybe minus the children thing – but with approximately the same amount of success.
This was SO funny! Exactly what my meditation attempt would look like if I ever tried it.
That was such a good laugh! This is exactly why I can’t meditate. Actually, I don’t even need all the external distractions, my own head provides the interruptions. x
I know, my head never stops either.
It’s very agreeable that finding a time for yourself is very hard. But it wasn’t that bad for a first try. What kind of meditation was it?
There’s different kinds? I have no idea.