Shambolic Living

Sleepless

Janine — Mon, 10 Sep 2018 20:28:15 +0000

So I’ve been awake since 3.00am. In that time I’ve signed the family up for an organizing app which can run a joint calendar, shared shopping and to-do lists and has downloaded a series of recipes that are supposed to make my “what’s for dinner” drama easier. Although they are very American-sounding recipes – Deep...

The Widow Goes On A Date

Janine — Wed, 05 Sep 2018 11:23:43 +0000

The last time I went on a first date Bob Hawke was Prime Minister, Liam Hemsworth was being born, Madonna was singing Vogue on the radio, Macaulay Culkin was being left Home Alone and Kevin Costner was Dancing with Wolves. It was a long time ago people. To be honest I’ve never been great at the dating...

Could You Survive The Apocalypse?

Janine — Sat, 07 Oct 2017 03:47:37 +0000

South Koreans are buying “survival bags” and turning to YouTube for tips on making it through a nuclear blast. The New York Times is writing articles on How To Survive The Apocalypse and the doomsday preppers are starting to look like the smart ones. This is our world in 2017. I’ve been considering my chances of...

So How Do I Explain This?

Janine — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 20:00:04 +0000

Hi Simon, How ya doin’? There’s been a few changes down here. The Americans had an election to replace Obama … and Donald Trump is now President. Yeah … the billionaire dude on Celebrity Apprentice. Leader of the free world. His election platform seemed to involve building a wall between the US and Mexico, defeating ISIS...

Behind the Scenes

Janine — Sat, 21 May 2016 03:47:03 +0000

So after my maudlin midweek meltdown Friday finally arrives. My continuing quest to be super mum gets me into trouble again but not before a chaotic work day. So here’s how my day played out. Months ago I gate crashed my friends’ date night and convinced them to let me tag along to see the Doug Anthony...

Hypochondria Heaven

Janine — Sat, 14 Jun 2014 12:41:08 +0000

It must be said that I do have a tendency toward over-reaction when it comes to my health. I was once banned by my husband from watching any medical stories on TV because by the end of the show I was always convinced I was DYING from the featured illness. I had ALL THE SYMPTOMS...

Tina Fey’s Brilliant Prayer For Her Daughter

Janine — Thu, 12 Jun 2014 12:23:44 +0000

The very clever Tina Fey covers every wish a mother could have for daughters. Love it. “First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not...

The Middle

Janine — Mon, 17 Mar 2014 00:44:40 +0000

Nicole Kidman is middle-aged. Yep, I’ve said it. The woman is getting on. It comes as a shock doesn’t it? I know this because Nicole and I are the same age. At 46 we are at life’s midpoint. That’s providing we make it to 92, if we cark it earlier then we could right now...

Letter to My Daughters – Remember to Thank Your Mum

Janine — Tue, 04 Mar 2014 03:37:36 +0000

Dear Girls, If at any point in your life you end up on a stage accepting an award and being watched by a world-wide audience of millions, don’t forget to remember to thank the woman who made it all possible. That’s me, in case you are wondering. Yes me, the woman who endured nine months...

Obviously I’m A Genius

Janine — Sat, 07 Dec 2013 05:21:51 +0000

Well the research is in and it’s become clear that I’m a genius. No really, I found an article on the INTERNET, it’s like researched and everything. Entitled Five Surprising Signs You’re Probably a Genius the piece lays out what you need to have a high IQ. I skipping straight over point 1 (high sex...