I think part of the problem with the debate that’s been going on here is that there is a societal message that seems to suggest that if you are drunk or dressed in skimpy outfit or whatever you are “asking for it” which is of course wrong and victims and commentators see the original article as sustaining that message. However, in two years time my overprotected child heads out into a world where the possibility of sexual assault from someone she knows and trusts is quite staggering. That means she has to have the ability to judge people, read situations, make instinctive calls on how “safe” her environment is, developing those skills only comes with experience, but in the meantime how capable she is at that will be as a result of the conversations she’s had with her parents and friends and the limited opportunities she has had to socialise with others. Of course none of this protects her from an individual determined to do harm – it’s just a hope that her instincts might limit her exposure to the “opportunistic” rapist.

I remember that piece and I agree it was slut-shaming and absolving boys of being responsible for their own actions. Yes all of this is tricky for mothers of girls and boys. You think it should get easier as they get older but it just gets more complex.

I find I say, “Don’t be stupid,” a lot. 😉

Parenting teens seems to be an endless loop of difficult conversations.

Absolutely agree that alcohol is problematic for both boys and girls – limited my discussion to girls because that’s who I’m parenting I don’t have any sons. I also think there are warnings that need to be given to boys regarding sex and alcohol – they are vulnerable too.