Comments on: Confessions of a Failed Retro Housewife

By: Linking Back: Women’s Lives and Choices | May and September

Linking Back: Women’s Lives and Choices | May and September — Mon, 06 May 2013 01:59:55 +0000

[…] a chuckle check out Confessions of a Failed Retro Housewife by Janine Fitzpatrick at Shambolic Living. She is responding to recent criticism of educated […]

By: nmsullivan0909

nmsullivan0909 — Sun, 05 May 2013 23:10:10 +0000

i had to skim this one, janine, b/c i need to go clean the kitchen, make lunches, and get ready for monday morning. you understand! joy to you!

By: Janine

Janine — Wed, 01 May 2013 10:55:52 +0000

In reply to Lauren. Thanks Lauren, "muddled mess" is so right. I keep hoping our children's generation will benefit from our challenges and figure out a better way to sort this all out!

By: Lauren

Lauren — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 23:46:01 +0000

Great post, Janine! What a muddled mess all this stuff is, isn’t it? I work from home, and today the laundry didn’t get folded and our house is a wreck from a weekend spent too busy doing other things. My husband (Mr. Clean-Genes) is an equal partner in all of our domestic endeavors, but since I’m the one who’s home, well, I feel the guilt when things are left undone. I agree that women are too hard on themselves and each other. There’ve been times I’ve been joyful here and times I’ve been cast low.

I’m not sure what the answer is, but painting our lives in twee pictures, whether of dashing career girls who meet for cocktails after work or mums who bake whole wheat muffins once a week, isn’t it.

By: Janine

Janine — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 07:52:57 +0000

In reply to What Sarah Did Next. Yes it seems to be a deliberately provocative strategy to pit women against each other. We need to refuse to judge each other and just get on with whatever choice we've made.I think SAHM's in 2013 are vastly different to the 50's housewife stereotype even if they do bake the odd cake or two!

By: Janine

Janine — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 07:50:12 +0000

In reply to Lila. Very valid point Lila it's not easy financially to stay at home, and it does come down to your personal choice, and your willingness to make the necessary sacrifices. Thanks for stopping by.

By: What Sarah Did Next

What Sarah Did Next — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 06:04:09 +0000

Why does there have to be one way of living that is better than the other? Can’t we just say that everyone makes their choice to suit their own particular circumstances and leave it at that? *sigh* I’m more than a little over this ‘debate’ that seems to keep popping up in the media. It’s becoming boring!

We did the ‘one partner stays at home’ for a long time too (that was me) but I’m looking at rejoining the workforce as my boys are older now. I’ve done a bit of baking here and there over the years but that’s about as ‘retro’ as I get. LOL.

By: Lila

Lila — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 05:00:01 +0000

It really just should be personal choice.The only things that has really peeved me in this debate (because I’m so over the sexism side it that it just rolls off) is the inference and claim that I’ve seen on some forums that only well off families can afford to have a partner stay at home. I just think that’s rubbish, as you’ve said you did it on a tradie wage. We’ve done it with myself bringing in an Admin wage and my husband staying home/studying and now we are doing it with me at home/studying and him on a grad wage which is a lot less than people think it is.
Staying at home is not a privileged, we sacrifice comforts that others call necessity*, and articles like that are frustrating because they gloss over the reality of choosing to stay at home by only reflecting one demographic.
Anyway I really should get off my soapbox, great post.
*disclaimer I know some people live in places where they have no choice but to work for the bare essentials and I don’t mean to be flippant about how hard that must be.

By: melanie jean juneau (motherofnine9)

melanie jean juneau (motherofnine9) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 00:14:20 +0000

i think control on the home front is written in our D.N.A

By: Janine

Janine — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 21:08:54 +0000

In reply to Heather B. That's a really important point Heather. There are many men in the same position as your husband. I remember thinking when I was at home that the ideal would be if both of us could work three days a week, but that would have meant two people essentially limiting their overall earning potential and putting any chance of promotion on hold. But I know my husband very much felt the pressure of being the breadwinner. I would love to see more men taking on the stay-at-home duties, but that also involves women being willing to give up the control of the homefront which is easier said than done.