It’s the birthday month so, as with last year, I am in a spiral of anxiety about my life passing me by and things left undone.

Next week  I’ll give you the final update on how Project 44 panned out.

As I reflect on what I attempted, and what I achieved (or didn’t) I’ve been thinking A LOT about how to combine the responsibilities of the real world with the unresolved ambitions and dreams of a younger me.

Have you read the book Eat, Pray, Love? I remember feeling very frustrated by it. How lovely to have a publisher’s advance, no ties and be able to head off to Italy, Indonesia and India for 12 months of self-discovery. I probably wasn’t Gilbert’s ideal reader. At the time I was trying to find a home in a new town, dealing with two children who thought mum’s idea of a sea-change had destroyed their lives, a stressful job (my first in ten years) and a husband who was living in another state working himself into a heart attack. Oh fun times.

If I were to write such a book it would be Diet, Question, Try Not to Kill The People You Live With. Not nearly as catchy a title.

In my state of continual flux I’m trying a different approach, accepting the reality of my life and working around it, that’s my goal for this year. So with that in mind I am going to undertake my own version of Eat, Pray, Love. The version you do when you have too many obligations and no money.

Each Thursday I’m going to share with you what I have achieved in my quest for inner-peace, prosperity, dream fulfilment. (Note to new readers if you expect this will deliver for you the method for your own self-discovery I would like to draw your attention to the name of this blog, Shambolic Living. Things don’t necessarily end well in my constant striving for a better life! Although it could deliver a blueprint for what NOT to do for your “creating a better you” journey.)

So this is one of the many things I’m reflecting on at the moment. Do birthdays see you reflecting on the state of your life as you get older? Or am I just some over-sharing narcissist? Nobody else is doing this????

Don’t forget to come back next Thursday for the first instalment!