My daughter would think that was a far better set-up than what we have, with me trying to force her into these really “gross” conversations.

Then I look at shows like Secret Life of the American Teenager where they discuss EVERYTHING with their parents and it kind of blows my mind. I think that’s unrealistic.

Sorry – this was not helpful at all.

That’s interesting to know that it isn’t any different in the country. I had the car half packed.

I know I was like that with drugs and alcohol too, so it is possible for teenagers to see/know about all this stuff but not choose to participate. We have to cling to that.

I really do believe conversation is the key – keeping on communicating – even when they are reluctant.

I love the sound of your mother daughter chats each afternoon. You are right, it’s so important not to look horrified when they do start telling you things (and not to be judgemental or patronising or derogatory or…) it’s a hard job! Someone once told they need you more when they are teenagers than when they are babies (given I was in the middle of drowning in the baby years at the time I thought she was insane), however, now I can see that she was probably right. They won’t talk to you schedule (as the above post shows), however you do need to be around and willing to listen at the moment when they do decide to share! The Facebook thing still worries me, I feel confident that my kids only have the one account – but then I hear what you have just said and I hope I’m not being naive. I always hate it when parents say with complete confidence “my kid doesn’t do that …” “my kid would never …” because I feel they are cruising for a fall. Yet I do feel I know my kids, we do have pretty good communication and I’m hoping I’ve read the situation (and the child) correctly.

I reckon there’s a blog post in how the car has become the confessional/therapy couch/conversation starter for families. We spend so much time transporting them everywhere and it is often the only time we can get one-on-one time with them. As for the technology my head hurts. Rachel’s post mentions sites etc I’d never heard of, obviously Twitter and Facebook are old hat (and I’m not sure I even had my head around them properly and I go there every day). Aargggh.

Yes she can be quite articulate when she wants to be (particularly when disagreeing with me!).