Thank you so much for this Janine. I just read this to her, and even after almost 5 months she is still feeling bad/gulity/sad/regretful. I have been keeping up with your blog, just so busy here x

Hope I haven’t scared you off having children! Hippie Child hasn’t read this post. I’m in trouble at the moment because of the underwear post (which she also hasn’t read) she’s afraid her friends will read her mother talking about underwear and she’s HORRIFIED.

Tell your step-daughter she mustn’t feel guilty about bottle feeding. The most important thing is her baby is being well fed and loved. When I read the article by spindocbob’s wife (see link above) I was amazed at the amount of guilt described by those who commented on the piece. It’s really, really important that women don’t keep beating themselves up about this – parenting is hard yakka and it’s wrong for women to be made to feel neglectful for simply being unable to breastfeed. I just know that when I was battling the mastitis I was so exhausted I simply couldn’t care for my daughter properly, when I went to bottle feeding everything improved, I actually began to enjoy being a mother. We all know that “breast is best” but I think it is wrong to demonise women who, for whatever reason, are unable to breastfeed and to suggest that formula is in some way harmful etc is just plain wrong.

That’s why you had four and I just had the two. I think it’s important women hear the positive stories like yours, but know that if things don’t go to plan it’s still OK and you can get through it, and most importantly don’t beat yourself up – there is a very wide range of “normal” in the birthing/breastfeeding experience.

Oh no that would have been terrible. I don’t know how I managed to always have mine at home, although it could have been because after the first one I barely left the house for the four weeks until the birth. I was too terrified to do anything.

I struggled to breastfeed the first-born for 6 weeks. I was sleep-deprived due to her habit of crying to be fed 20 minutes after I’d finished the last feed. I can barely remember that month and a half, to be honest, my brain was just so befuddled. And when a particularly nasty doctor told me that I was starving her, I needed to put more effort into breastfeeding, I went straight to Woolies and bought a tin of formula, and the first-born and I were instantly much happier. (And that would be the daughter who, at 13 years old, is taller than me and is in the gifted and talented program at school… I don’t think formula-feeding did her any damage.)

I only struggled for 2 weeks with the second-born. I’d learned my lesson the hard way.

I’m kinda envious that you hemorrhaghed at home in bed, though. I managed to have my placenta previa hemorrhage in the checkout queue at Coles. I’d like to apologise to those shoppers waiting behind me. Ick.

We are lucky indeed.