Comments on: Condeming my children to a life of under-achievement

By: rommel

rommel — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 21:34:51 +0000

I think most of their parents are adventurous too. I travel a lot, but I don’t really do much of the extremes. I think I’ll be a worried type like you are. Although sorry to air it, I don’t think I’ll deprive them of something that they want to pursue, or anything reasonably they strongly insist.

By: vixytwix

vixytwix — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 01:00:50 +0000

In reply to shambolicliving.

It’s funny that you say that, I often remark about his complete lack of attention to household chores and mowing the lawn and how he won’t be able to ‘do’ for himself when he leaves home, his reply…I’ll just pay someone when I’m working. Arghhh! Thanks Janine, I love the way you write and I think your children are very lucky to have you! ( I am constantly laughing about your reference to Hippie Child when I read your blog).

By: shambolicliving

shambolicliving — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 18:58:48 +0000

In reply to Heather B. Absolutely. LOL.

By: Heather B

Heather B — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 18:41:18 +0000

I can definitively state that it isn’t the lack of TV. I didn’t have one growing up and my biggest ambition is to have all of the rooms of my house and my car clean at the same time. I think that those of us who are both under-achievers and are raising under-achievers are doing the world a favor by giving over-achievers something to compare themselves to. In fact, I think that Jessica Watson and Jordan Romero’s parents should thank us for our under-achieving children whose existence allows their children to shine.

By: shambolicliving

shambolicliving — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 21:28:05 +0000

In reply to vixytwix.

Love this, kid determined to succeed (from a very young age) despite parent’s limitations. Some children are just born with a talent and obviously you gave him the opportunities, freedom to explore those talents (let him keep the rocks under the bed) even if it wasn’t an area you understood. Great parenting. Reckon this one has a chance at the Nobel Prize – and don’t worry he’ll earn enough not to have to worry about washing up. LOL.

By: vixytwix

vixytwix — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 11:12:12 +0000

This is a great post and it made me consider many things. For one, my 19 year old son is a Physics/Chemistry/Maths nut. He was dux of his Year 12 class. he is currently doing a dual degree in Physics and Engineering. I liked science but it’s mysteries always eluded me and I was never able to grasp a lot of concepts. Same for Maths. Tried hard, struggled often. My point? How in God’s good name did my son develop this love of numbers and science? Not from me, not from my husband. The only thing I can think of is…. the hours he spent collecting rocks that I let him keep under the bed. The hours he spent as a child, scavenging my parent’s five acres for rocks, insects, bugs….whatever he could find. The child that left some poor lady gob-smacked at the Australian Reptile Park when he recited all the names of Australian spiders corresponding with the display at the age of three. He was the child that constantly asked questions. If I didn’t have the answers, then he’d find someone or something that could tell him. The maths? I have no idea. There was the one time when his preschool teacher called me and told me he had started counting to ten and just kept going. What can I say? He liked numbers.
Who can say for sure where the passion and talent some children display come from? If not from the parents ( and there are some out there that push their children into anything they can) then perhaps from someone else they admire, who have met, seen on TV, written a book.
I don’t think there is anything you can do or expose your children to that will lead them to be high achievers. My son still struggles with the front loader and dishwasher.

By: shambolicliving

shambolicliving — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 02:16:42 +0000

In reply to Noreen.

These kids are rare indeed but it is a bit like the chicken/egg quandry – where they born this way or did they emerge from a adventure seeking environment in which their parents created? I think you are right that parents would have a pretty strong influence. I’m not suggesting that they are wrong just curious about the how/why of the whole child development thing. I also think the children have to have a pretty strong commitment to these feats otherwise they wouldn’t be able to see them through. But pushing your child in any particular direction always leads to the chance they will rebel – they have to want it for themselves.

By: Noreen

Noreen — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 01:52:10 +0000

hello janine – interesting topic! my thought is that the leaf does not fall far from the tree. so when i read about families that do triathlons together, and instead of family meals they compete to see who can transition (swim to bike, bike to run) quickest, then i know what the children will like. or perhaps they will rebel? most folks don’t do what those children are doing, and so we need to perhaps define underachieving? joy and blessings to you and your lovely children (they must be lovely, and i bet they have your sense of humor!)